Explanation of the Series
This 10-part series, “10 Important Conversations to Have with Your Kids,” provides parents with guidance on crucial topics to discuss with their middle schoolers. Written by family physician, Dr. Robin Dickinson, MD, each article offers background information, preparation tips, conversation dos and don’ts, and journaling prompts for both parent and child. These prompts can be used for journaling, writing assignments, or further discussion. Below is the list of topics Dr. Robin will cover.
- Nutrition & Healthy Eating
- Physical Activity & Exercise
- Sleep & Healthy Habits
- Online Safety & Digital Citizenship
- Body Image & Self-Esteem
- Puberty & Physical Changes
- Healthy Relationships
- Substance Use & Addiction
- Mental Health & Well-being
- Goal Setting & Personal Growth
Navigating the world of food and body image can be challenging for middle schoolers. As their bodies change and they become more aware of societal pressures, tweens and teens can end up in unhealthy places mentally and in their habits. This is an especially crucial time for parents to foster a healthy relationship with both food and self-image. This conversation isn’t just about nutrition…it’s about cultivating a positive and sustainable approach to well-being.
The Foundation: Nutrition and Healthy Eating
We all know that balanced nutrition is the cornerstone of both physical and mental health. It provides the energy kids’ bodies need to grow, learn, and thrive. Understanding the basics of nutrition empowers kids to make informed choices that support their overall well-being. This means understanding the different food groups and the different choices available in each good group. No one is motivated by what they should do, though. It’s far more helpful to understand how each food helps our body. It’s also important to help kids recognize the impact of processed foods and sugary drinks. Avoid labeling foods as “bad” – instead focus on the fact that these foods lack essential nutrients and can stress out our physiology, which isn’t really set up to deal with modern foods.
Parent Preparation: Laying the Groundwork
Before diving into a conversation with your child, take some time to brush up on basic nutrition guidelines yourself. Resources like the USDA’s MyPlate (choosemyplate.gov) can be a helpful starting point. The goal isn’t to become an expert but to have a solid understanding of the fundamentals. Be careful to avoid extremism (i.e., “no one should” or “everyone should” or “this food is bad”).
And as you’re having these conversations, involve your child in the process of food and eating. Meal planning and grocery shopping can be excellent opportunities to discuss healthy choices in a practical setting. Let them help choose fruits and vegetables at the store, or brainstorm meal ideas together. This hands-on approach makes learning about nutrition more engaging and less like a lecture.
Conversation Tips: Making it Positive and Sustainable
The key to a successful conversation is to focus on making healthy eating enjoyable and sustainable. Avoid framing it as a restrictive diet or a punishment. Instead, emphasize the positive aspects of nourishing their bodies – increased energy, improved focus, and better overall health.
Encourage mindful eating, which has been shown to improve eating habits in a healthy way. This means paying attention to hunger cues, savoring the taste of food, and eating without distractions like screens and shows. Help your child appreciate the variety of flavors and textures that different foods offer. Talk about the importance of listening to their bodies and eating until they are satisfied (rather than overly full).
One of the most crucial things you can do is to avoid labeling foods as “good” or “bad.” This creates a moral association with food, which can lead to feelings of guilt or shame. All foods can fit into a healthy diet in moderation. Instead of focusing on restriction, focus on getting their body what it needs. People who focus first on getting the nourishment they need and mindfully eating and enjoying nutritious food will naturally make healthier choices!
Body Image: Culture and Home
Alongside nutrition, body image is a critical component of overall well-being. Middle school is a time when kids are particularly vulnerable to societal pressures and unrealistic beauty standards. Watch what influences are impacting your tween or teen. And also watch yourself! Are you talking negatively about your own body?
As their body changes, it’s common to feel anxiety about the changes. It’s essential to create a safe space for your child to discuss feelings about their body.
Conversation Tips: Building Confidence and Self-Acceptance
Emphasize that everyone’s body is different and that healthy bodies come in all shapes and sizes. Focus on what their bodies can do, rather than just how they look. Encourage activities that they enjoy and that make them feel good about themselves, whether it’s playing sports, dancing, aerial, or simply going for a walk.
Help your child develop critical thinking skills when it comes to media messages. Talk about how images are often Photoshopped or filtered, and that they don’t represent reality. Encourage them to appreciate their own unique qualities and to focus on their strengths rather than comparing themselves to others.
Avoiding Pitfalls: What to Watch Out For
One of the biggest mistakes parents can make is using food as a reward or punishment. This creates an unhealthy association between food and emotions. It can also lead to feelings of deprivation and resentment. Similarly, avoid creating a negative or restrictive relationship with food. This can increase the risk of disordered eating patterns. “I shouldn’t eat this” or “It’s cheat day!” or “I’m going to have to exercise to make up for this” are all extremely detrimental statements for anyone to hear but especially a tween or teen.
Be mindful of your own language and attitudes towards food and body image. Children are very perceptive and can pick up on your own insecurities. Strive to model a healthy and balanced approach to eating and self-care.
Journaling Prompts: Sparking Deeper Reflection
Here are some journaling prompts for both you and your child to further explore these topics:
For your child:
- What are some of your favorite nourishing foods and why?
- How do you feel about your body? What are some things you appreciate about it?
- What are some things you can do to take care of your body and mind?
- How do media messages influence your thoughts about body image?
For you:
- What are my own beliefs and attitudes about food and body image?
- How can I create a more positive and supportive environment for my child?
- What are some ways I can model healthy eating and self-care habits?
- How can I help my child develop a stronger sense of self-worth?
Having open and honest conversations with your middle schooler about nutrition and body image is an investment in their long-term health and well-being. By focusing on balance, positivity, and self-acceptance, you can help them develop a healthy relationship with both food and their bodies that will last a lifetime.
Check in next week when we’ll be focusing on the important topic of enjoying physical activity!
